Keys to a Long Life - Keep a Happy Marriage

The healthiest patients tend to have a loving and supporting spouse, someone to help with maintaining their health whether it be sharing meals, exercising together, keeping up with each other's doctors visits. A great relationship can be key to a long life, here is how to foster and keep that relationship strong.

Disclaimer: Before undertaking any dietary or lifestyle changes, please consult with your physician for appropriateness and additional guidance. The information here is just that...information for educational purposes only, not to provide medical advice or treatment.

Here are a few suggestions on maintaining a happy, healthy relationship...(Warning, this is written by a male...)

1. Don't nag...

The number one killer to a long relationship is nagging your partner about something they are doing or not doing. What is best is to strategize...if they are a gamer, surprise them with a gift that a gamer would want...that way you can insert yourself into their habit and show that you support them. If they watch a lot of football, watch with them and cheer for the other team. If you want them to add habits, suggest them passively and try to find a great time to ask for help.

2. Make memories together...

Material things do not matter. What you are going to look back on is memories, so plan trips together, go and take plenty of photos. Also, getting into nature together is powerful and helps with recovery...(look for places with lots of greenery and a water source).

3. Plan together...

Like above when planning for trips, it also helps to plan your budget together and to set a time for the "Family Business Meeting". It will help get all parties on the same page and it will be clear where friction can start. Focus on compromising equally and cooperating.

4. Take interest in their interests...

Similar to number one, the best way to equal the playing field is to follow that old maxim "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em". Who knows they might appreciate it.

5. Don't go to bed angry...

Try to patch things up as soon as possible, arguments in the morning can be resolved by the next morning and you can start the next day fresh. Don't be afraid to admit when the other person is right (or partially right).

6. Be a giver...

Don't forget the power of showing up with roses or an item you know they've been dying for or would appreciate. Don't wait for Christmas, their birthday or some known occasion - surprises are best!

7. Help around the house...

This is a keystone habit for a relationship, leave your comfort zone. If you aren't the one that normally does laundry, do the laundry. Do the dishes. Fix a recurring problem you know is happening around the house, (ex. certain rooms always accumulate trash, buy a trashcan; not enough storage for the laundry, build some storage).

8. Develop 'me' time...

Another keystone is "knowing when you need some me time" - make sure you plan a few vacations by yourself (and we don't mean work trips) and plan them around nature as it can be restorative and is usually cheap.

9. Ask about their friends and family...

In-laws and your significant others friends can be a source of anxiety for most. Acknowledge that with your partner and talk through that and the reasons why. Make a plan to overcome that during their next visit or change the venue to something more comfortable for your partner where they will feel most like themselves.

10. Get a pet...

Next to kids, pets can allow for a lot of attention and energy which is good for a partnership as it adds a buffer and they can be great if your partner is anxious (but not if they are anxious about dogs or cats).

11. Create your own family traditions...

Creating a family holiday that is different from...(you know...the regular holidays) - this will help you be a unit and help to add memories. It is also something that you can share with close relatives and friends that will give you something silly and original to be happy about.

12. Dress alike and go out...

This can be fun and bring you together as it is a bit silly and takes courage which can help you foster "confidence as a couple" which is important. Also will help with creating those memories. So put on your favorite team's jerseys, or matching color outfits and go out somewhere just to be seen together.

13. Admit your feelings...

Again, leave your comfort zone. People grow apart because they get to the point where they can't compromise any more "they are who they are" and all that. But if you are able to find courage and do things you aren't comfortable with 'on occasion' that will help your relationship tremendously as some of those hardened compromises get a little smaller and spell less trouble down the road. Often, talking

14. Work together in rough times, avoid blame...

Hard times hit every couple, as life can come at you in a dozen different ways. You can't be prepared for everything, but you can make up your minds to ride them out together. Even calamities that affect the other partner can and should be discussed, you should always have a Last Will and Testament as soon as you have anything to leave behind. Avoid blaming the other person (even if it is their "fault") - resolve to work through the difficult times and not leave the full burden on the other person.

Disclaimer: Before undertaking any dietary or lifestyle changes, please consult with your physician for appropriateness and additional guidance. The information here is just that...information for educational purposes only, not to provide medical advice or treatment.